football players, my favorite boys

I had such high hopes....and then you go and get hurt.



http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071128/ap_on_sp_fo_ne/fbn_williams_injury;_ylt=AjDrXP4.zYAHXBW_BFxEubMN97QF

Oh well. at least I have a new hero---B. Westbrook :)


How cute is this picture. Brian is only 5'8 maybe? I dont know, but he looks so small compared to the other guys on the field. Its so cute!!

oh, and yes my Miss M---I'm going to be on the prowl during my leave :)

so--------

heather!! hey, girl--long time! wow...another preggie mamma (i knew you were, but just didn't know when you are due! :) That makes me happy.

Ok, so I went to the grocery store on my lunch break after my fit of crying! (more on that after this mouse update). I found a mouse trap, and this one is like a cat claw---no joke, there is a picture of a minxy looking cat on it. But basically you put the mouse bait/peanut butter on the trap and it claws them in--ALIVE! Which sounds more humane to me. I can just feel better about letting mr. mousey go outside and find himself somewhere else to nest! I just feel bad killing the thing. Especially the thought of it knawing a leg off (right cinn?!!)---makes me think of the SAW movies, ugh.

I haven't set it up yet b/c we put up a string of christmas lights last night. It's so nice. the only thing is you can't realy see the lights from outside, you can only see the illumiation of them---and it looks pretty cool since they're LED lights and they give off a blue-ish tinge like its frost on the window. I like it---plus it highlights our leaning charlie brown tree! I dont knwo why the darn tree leans--its only 4 years young! El-cheapo-target-o tree. maybe i'll duct tape the bastard down--stay straight!

*************
ok, so my crying fit. i don't know if it's just my emotions or hormones or sensitivity---or what. but I lost it yesterday. totally. I was plotting my escape (you have to say that word like dory in finding nemo--sounds totally cool! lol) es-cap-e...haha..ok, moving on.
I wanted to leave here so bad. So here's what happened. I'm sitting here at my desk when Gen. mgr calls up the new hire in the office(the girl that he just decided to hire, didn't ask anyone else, yelled at me for, made his own hours for...the list goes on an on..but anyway!) and asks her for his check! I do fucking payrolll shithead. Then---um, Before--on friday he called me to ask him to send his friend a fruit basket b/c his friend's father in law had died--so i did, AND he asked me to hold onto his check (Me, I do payroll, duh) till he came back. So why why why when he came back yesterday did he call up and ask her for his check?! Is he trying to piss me off?

Ks and another co-worker said that I was taking it too personal and that I should calm down. they said maybe he was being nice not making me walk up and down the stairs to bring him his check-------------Well, um, that woudl be fine and maybe believable if he hadn't asked me to do this before. and every other god damnned time he's said to me "next time you come down can you bring me my check" as to not make me rush downstairs or anything---so why the fuck this time???!

And that's just the whipped cream on the ice cream sundae. It was almost the cherry, almost. Serioulsy though, its like the umpteenth time this place has disrespected and made me feel unworthy.

this same guy, who calls me "bud", who always asks how I am doing, how's the baby, etc---pretends to care, acts like a fucking asshole when it comes to business. I"m so tired of it. Like I was saying to the coworker and hubby--he didn't even give me a wedding card--a card. from my freaking employer, my boss! really?! I said "I can't imagine the dissapointment that will be when I have this baby"

**and I say that b/c the girl that had her baby last year, we had a donation of money to her and the company matched it and we got her a cake and card and a 700 gift certificate to babies r us.

I will be beside myself if they don't do a thing. I haven't asked anyone else about their weddings, but I imagine I'm the only one who didn't even get a card. The new hire here in the office--they lent her cars to use for her entrance, and they've attended other weddings (not mine or hers, or the most recent one (june)) but anyhoo---so I'm just fed up. Actually, just now i went to the service manager and told him how i felt. He kept asking me if i was looking through the resumes for a job opening we have--and i told him flat out no. i said i dont care and i dont see the point. The GM will do what he wants to do and steamroll (both of us) if he wants like he did w/ the position up here..so why the freak should I care?

anyway, so i ran out of here bawling and breathing uncontrollably (I have trouble breathing normally right now anyway!) to the park where I sat for about 20 minutes.

ugh. pregnancy. will-it-ever-be-over.

Hells yes! I'll be able to drink again, and stuff...soon! well, a lot sooner than before. I was just thinking the other day, hmm, maybe it was yesterday in the car post cry--how I haven't been dancing (and by dancing I mean shaking my ass on a dancefloor and having a blast) in so, so long. I didn't even know how to get a rhythm to the song on the radio!! then, there I was, i figured it out! haha, pregnant and all ass in the car w/ the radio jamming to (50 Cent Featuring Justin Timberlake & Timbaland Ayo Technology) and that song has a weird techno thing in the back that was screwing w/ me. anyhoo---so I was dancin. lol. in the car!

2 weeks? wow

Who knew?

anyway, so I thought mr. mousey was gone..and then i discovered that it's not. I found out what it's been into. I have these wicker baskets on the top of the fridget that I keep our chips/pretzels/snacks in...and I go to clean it out (throw out old stale bags) and notice in the bottom a dorito's bag (and shreds of the bag out side of the basket) torn up on the side. FUCKING BASTARD! Teh damn mouse got into the basket and ate some doritos. I guess that's its thing b/c there were choc. covere'd pretzels in there (w/ peanut butter in them!!!) and tortilla chips, sun chips, but no--mousey ate the doritos.

So KS decided he was gonna get the bugger. He pulled out the fridge and set up the mouse traps with cheese and peanut butter in them. I dont know how the mouse traps work. They're the glue kind. Now, what happens when mr. mousey gets on it? does he die a slow death just being stuck on the glue? I feel bad! It hasn't found the traps yet though b/c I woke up yesterday (the war againts mousey w/ the traps started sat night) and found that mr mousey had gotten into the bread we had on top of the toaster over. Dumbasses---i didn't put the bread there---um, hello that's what the bread box is for!

Anyhoo...so J suggested that we get de-con, or dcon things. i think they're the houses you trap the mouses in. Sounds like a great plan. I also saw a commercial for some kind of thing (samd de-con or wahtever name brand) and its like --it looks like a food bowl. its black and has green/blue pellets in it and you set it around and the mouse dies. Does it eat it? where does it die? What if it dies and we have a horrible stench in our house b/c we can't find it?!!? That's why i guess the lil house is good b/c the mouse is in there and you can throw it out.

I just did research. apparently the glue is inhuman since the mice tend to knaw their legs off--gross!! or take up to 12 hours to die. So I'm going to try and find some dcon mouse traps!
*****************

I still haven't had my baby shower yet. I think I figured out when it is though. No one can keep anything from me--I'm too smart! haha.
Well, CQ asked me to do her hair for a Christmas party on December 8th. I said fine and wrote it on my calendar. It was no big deal cause I've done her hair and makeup for any other parties she's gone to @ the same place. But---I was thinking that my sister asked me for the addresses of people about a month before that. THEN Ks's mom called and said to him that the date was wrong on the inviations. Like it was thursday the 4th and should've been the 5th--something like that. When she called again (this weekend) to talk to KS I overheard him say December 8th--my supposed doing "hair" day!
HA!
I sooo have it figure out. Maybe not, but I'm sure that's when it is---all things put together. Now i know when that day comes around to make sure I put makeup on and make myself look decent! I say this b/c my sisters was a total suprise and shocker. She had no clue and told me I should've told her so she could've done herself up more. :)

********************

I have been starting a great habit. I actually started it after I wrote my last post. I've been waking up between 6 and 630am to go to my complex's gym and workout! I'm so proud. I've been getting my 3 days/week in for exercise. Granted, I only walk and lift weights but I'm very proud of myself. My body feels better--stronger. I know how good I feel when I do workout, and I miss the energy and the push I used to have pre-preg. I still have the want to go, its just that I feel weird not being able to do what I used to do. I feel almost as if I am wasting time. But I know I'm not. Hell, I'm carrying around 30 extra lbs--that in itself should make me stronger! haha. I can't believe there's only 6 weeks left. Goodness :/

so its been a week

Almost. And well, no update on mousey. He/she hasn't reared its ugly head in a while. I hope it didn't die. But if it did, I'm sure we'll smell it sometime soon. yuck. I called maintenance and they didn't come by---niice, thanks guys. oh well.

what else? Oh...I felt so good on Saturday. If you've ever seen the movie Fried Green Tomatoes--Kathy Bates lets her rage out one day at this car who cuts her off and steals her parking spot (I believe) and she just looses it and proceeds to run into the vehicle about 10 times, smashing the hell out of it. Well, I felt that.

I went to drop off a payment for KS. I had forgotten on Friday. These people have been calling him at work, calling at home for who knows why! Maybe they want him to borrow more money or something--they don't say--so I have no clue. I was in a rush Saturday b/c at the last minute MIL decided she was coming up (I knew she might be, but it wasn't definite till she called at 1130 saying she'd be there in an hour and a half!). So I had to rush to get stuff done. since the payment place was on the other side of the highway, I was going to drop it off on the way back.

I have so many things to do at this point and only an hour and a half to do it--wrap MIL present, write her card, make a cake, get supplies at the grocery store for dinner, take a shower, drop off the payment, drop off Ks lunch, grab him donuts for breakfast (I planned this for Ks before she called b/c he was having a rough day and I wanted to cheer him up).

So off I go--got donuts, dropped it off to ks, got Starbucks (I'd been craving this!) and was on my way.

I get to the place to drop the payment off and go to open the door and nothing. it's closed. The hours were till 12, and its 1237pm. I see an asshole sitting at the front desk and he's ignoring me of course. So I proceed to look for a drop off box or something since I'd already forgotten the day before to drop it off, and was now at the place to drop it off--and there is no drop off box! I peek in, and there's another lady sitting at a desk.

***Why at 40 after close are there 2 people sitting at their desks on a Saturday? I'd be out of there, or in the back out of sight, so I blame them for my breakdown*****

The lady starts pointing at the door. I'm assuming she's pointing at something like a drop off box as I'm waving my payment slip at her. But then I think she's being a bitch and saying look at the time you dummy. I check my phone again, and drop it. I bend over as god awful of a sight as that is and an ordeal I might add to pick it up. she just waves her hands around, and the guy glances at me, but makes no attempt to do anything. And i can't find anything remotely like a drop box, so I head back to my car completely enraged!

I had their phone number and i let that answering machine have it! I cursed, I raised my voice and yelled at them. And I hope they heard me. How fucking inconsiderate were they that they couldn't just open the door and take my ticket. I didn't want their time, I didn't wanna pick their brain. I just wanted to hand over my ticket to get it off my list of things to do! dammit! I'm not unfair, I know it was after 12, but seriously--don't sit in plain view and expect (especially pregnant, annoyed, hormonal) me to just be OK with their behavior. I would've been so gracious if all they did was get off either of their asses to take that from me, or open the door and say--oh this is the drop off.

so after the screaming and cursing I cried. I bawled. All the way home.

And of course, I couldn't go to the grocery store b/c I was crying. so then I went home and started on the cake and marinating the steaks, and wrapping her present.

She called around the time she was due in to say that she was going to drop Ks dad off at his brothers house and that she'd be a little while longer.

THANK GOODNESS.

I went to the store and got what I needed for dinner and her cake. I got home, decorated it, and no sooner than that she was there. We sat and talked till KS got home. And there went my weekend. On Sunday ks had to work at 3pm and around that same time his mom's uncle came by and I entertained (and met them for the first time) for a few hours. They were so nice. I really liked them.

Oh well.

I think that's it. I'm still frustrated at work. I'm still getting more and more uncomfortable each day.

tomorrow is KelBel's (a**hole bridesmaid that didn't show up at the wedding) birthday. I thought about sending her a card--being the better person. But I didn't, and won't. she's made attempts to do stuff and meet up, but I have been busy (honestly) but really have no interest in doing anything with her. Its so hard, I feel bad letting the friendship go, and I feel like I'm really not making any efforts. But at the same time, why should I?

This is why I'd like to:
I miss having someone I can talk to. I miss having an open friendship with someone. Someone to tell my problems and eerks to.
But really, the only people i have to do that is my family. they're the only ones i can really trust with any and everything. Oh well.

ok enough of me. I updated. yaaay me.

There's a mouse in our house

Yep, that's right. I swore I saw something on Saturday scurrying around the foyer by the front door, but it moved so fast i wasn't sure if I was just seeing things or not. I asked Ks to check it out and he couldn't find anything. Then Monday night I came downstairs and saw something run from the counter into the stove! So again, I called Ks downstairs to check it out and he lifted up the range and I saw it move, but, again, couldn't make it out but saw something move. He didn't find anything even though we moved the stove out from the wall!

Last night I fell asleep and was woken up to Ks with a big red blanket and a shoe walking around the Tv. I ask him what is going on, and he said "uh, just go back to sleep." and of course i couldn't and he says "I found your little friend" and I said is it a mouse or spider (I say spider b/c we have some huge mo-fo's in the basement that creep me out), and it was a mouse! which, actually, made me feel better. A mouse, is cute like Stuart little. But the spider would just freak me out!

He and our roomate tried catching it, but the little sucker is way too fast! haha. It snuck around their feet, around them and zoomed away. I don't know whether to call maintenance or just try and set some traps. I asked CQ about it (since I know she's deathly afraid of them and caught some before) and she said that to catch them you use mouse traps with peanut butter! Who knew.

*************
We had our 4th baby class last night. It wasn't so bad. I'm getting more and more used to the people I guess. There's only 2 more classes left! One next week where we learn infant care (changing diapers, etc) and then the last one is in December about breastfeeding. We were lucky to take the tour of the hospital last night. I wasn't too impressed, but it was good for Ks cause he hadn't seen anything before. I was my sister's support person so I was up there for quite some time. We got to see a lil newborn baby. She was sooo adorable. I teared up!

Hmm...nothing new on the BM side of things. I don't know what to do about it yet until we see what exactly the number is that we're up against. And we'll make do, we always do and it will be fine. I just love how much of an ass she is. You can file 2.5 years after your last agreement for a change, and to the day---2.5 years after the original order was made up she filed. *sigh* I guess that's just it. You know, I mean, she's entitled to money and she'll take it. Just like the BM's of famous people--the BM is entitled to a percentage of BD wages--and for some it's 350grand a month--what child needs that?! good god its insane. anyway...enough on that. I"m not going to talk about it.

I will talk about my mom. I don't know what to do with her. I knwo there's always somthing behind her good deeds. She gave me baby clothes for our little one b/c she couldn't wait. They're actually very adorable considering I despise winnie the pooh. I like the 2 greens and was thinking of drawing pictures/patterns using the greens and polka dots as inspiration. Here are the things she got us:






And then, this same night we go out to grocery shopping and she paid the entire bill! for both of us--170 some dollars. I was going to pay her back for what I bought, but she said to worry about it another time since we've been stressing on money (and the child support issue). Later that night we went to dinner, and Ks and I paid since she paid for our groceries! And I thanked her and thanked her.

She's been talking for a while about moving in with my sister. The problem is--my sister isn't sure if that's something she wants to do. Plus, as of right now, there's no room. My sister has 2 bedrooms 1bath--enough for her and the baby. She's have to finish off her garage in order to get a room for my mom. And that takes money and time.

My mom told my sister she wants to move in at the end of November. My sister hasn't even made up her mind as to IF she wants my mom to move in. But my mom has already written a notice to her landlord that she's moving out!!

here's a side note to that---my mom was upset b/c they sent her a letter stating that her balcony was unkempt and needed a tidying. They said they didn't like her dog toys, dog bed or dog leash out there. I told her they couldn't evict her over that, so why worry and rush to move out? She proceeded to take pictures of other people's balconies to back up her theory of "they're picking on me". and anyway, so she told them she was leaving and now, she really doesn't have a place to go.

so you know where this is going---She was talking to me last night and said that she could move into the babies room and I was thinking she was talking about my sister's house and said --there's no room where will you sleep? and she said in shawn's daughters bed. DING DING DING WHAT?! She was talking about our house. I said to her that *IF* that was an option we'd need to know first if she was in fact moving in with my sister and when that would be b/c we need our rooms. The baby has furniture in there and it can't go anywhere else! and the same w/ Ks daughter--there's no room!

UGH. I just know where this is headed. She's going to yell and scream and demand back the clothes she gave our little one and demand money for the groceries (wich is fine, but just--um, crazy?!). I just don't even know how to deal with is.

Kitty!!!

Here's my happy update. Last night (before I lost my goddammned mind and cried my eyes out) I got to visit with my mom and see my kitty.

She is healthy , and happy and nuzzled with me the entire time. I miss her. she laid on my lap all night and sat next to me while my mom and I ate soup and ice cream. I'm glad i went over there for kitty and my mom. I know it meant a lot to my mom (and kitty!) that I was there.

its almost 11pm but i needed to talk

i swear one of these days, and hopefully soon, there will be a positive, well, cheerful or happy update. But my life seems such to shit right now. Previously, I have bitched about basically my nerves and emotions just getting out of wack. but now...ok, I guess it's still emotional---but what the fuck?~!

As i'm trying to enjoy this pregnancy and, you know, figure out how the hell I'm going to pay for this baby---
i've drained my savings---to pay off bills to prepare for baby
i've drained my vacation and sick pay--to pay off bill to prepare for baby
my christmas bonus will go to---pay off bills..yada yada you know how it goes

so what could be bad news? did you say another bill...or how about a court order. For more fucking child support.

really?

Today, he gets a letter that she wants more money for child support. well, um when the order was established her oh so lovely self said he can pay a less amount (we were in a way worse situaion financially then) but he will have to make the trips (2 hours each way) to pick her up when he wants to see her.

Now baby mom has a new car, a newer house (instead of living of state housing, which I'm not knocking b/c it's an upgrade), takes the kids to great adventure (when we can barely afford to take her to a fucking pumpkin patch at 8/per person), takes the kids clothes shopping all the time, they have extravagant birthday parties, the list goes on and on....plus. and I guess she knows how to play the game--isnt married but has a somoen eliving with her, but she can still get assistance for daycare, food, etc.

what the fuck

Even with paying off all these bills, we're looking at having 400 dollars a month left over for gas, food, diapers, etc. And that's with a cheap daycare (honesly, so far it's the cheapest I could find and we haven't decided to take it up yet). If we lose another 100/month, we're down to 300/month. How do we survive that?? I almost wanna tear my skin off my face I'm so frustrated.

anyway. I'm going to go back downstairs and pretend like I'm ok. I'll pretend like I'm strong and we'll make it through. but honeslty I'm scared shitless, and I want to cry.

another rant..to finish off my bitch session

I realized that I never finished my rant. I was supposed to follow up with a more positive tuned entry--but that didn't happen. Insted I'm going to go off (again) about what's been getting on my nerves. sounds like fun!!

Work---I miss 3mom. And I'm tired of people fucking parking in my goddammned spot! Now, we don't have assigned parking as in signs. But it is known to everyone who parks where. The owner, the GM, the sales manger, FI manager, my boss, me, title clerk...etc and the parking goes down. But our receptionist has always parked in my spot next to my boss. this started back in may, and I got over it. But now, the new title clerk parks in my spot. I guess the two parking spot stealers (PSS's) figure the process works by whomever is there first. NO!! NO!! and NO!!

I've yelled at sales people who park in my spot. I've had them move their cars. I've gotten 'tudes with them over this and I'm not about to let it go now at being in my 8th month of pregnancy!!

Only thing is---I dont know what to say without sounding like a total and complete idiot. I don't knwo how to bring it up. I want to put a sign---MY SPOT!

So anyway, that's what pisses me off each and every morning.

**************
there's the friend. I finally figured out WHY she was being like she was.

I was obsessing over this baby stuff. I'm in this "gotta have everything ready to go NOW" phase. And KS (and her later on) both said to calm down, wait till after the baby shower and you'll be fine. And of course, that's all well and good, but to me--I"m freaking out!! i need this, I need that, i don't have this, what if this happens. And KS laughs at me and thinks its funny. the friend is telling me comments like "well, just go buy everything you think you need and then take it off your registry"

UM...hello! the point of the shower is to get the things you need. I'm just freaking out b/c the shower isn't here yet and I have (I feel like) there's not much time left, and I want things to be ready! And then--if I don't get these things @ the shower, I want to know how much I'm going to need for purchasing the items.
And then I found out that she wanted to get me my bedding and that's why she was getting upset that I was freaking out and wanting to buy everything. I bought the bedding but kept goign back and forth as to whether or not to return it. Here it is:



***********
In writing this post I got an email from a wonderful friend of mine saying sorry how things have been lately. He enclosed and article that had me cracking up!! Thank you PB. hahaha. The funniest part is as I was reading it I noticed the writer talks about her parking spot (and I ranted about mine today)!
SPORTS GAL'S RANT
Last week, I was getting coffee with my friend Robyn and the barista was kind enough to point out maybe I shouldn't drink coffee because I'm pregnant. I thanked him for his concern and told him that I start my day with coffee and finish it with a glass of red. Then I told him to consider wiping down his counters since the risk of me getting a virus from them would be far worse for my unborn child than a cup of Joe in the morning. He shut right up. As you can tell, I have a short fuse after nine months of carrying a living being; biting my tongue just isn't in the cards anymore. So I wanted to send out some apologies for my behavior over the past few days.

Sorry to the guy who thought it was OK to stand in my potential parking spot so his family could get the prime spot in front of Pinkberry -- I wasn't really going to run you over. Sorry to the lady who thought it would be cool to talk on her cell while swerving into my lane, cutting me off and then driving 10 mph under the speed limit while I tailgated her and slammed my horn. Sorry to the guy who cuts our lawn -- I'm still not sure why you thought it was OK to move our Halloween props and ruin them, but I'm sorry just the same and you're not really fired. Sorry to the guy in front of me at Ralph's who had 20 items in the 10 item express lane. Sorry to the lady who thought it would be a "good idea" to balance her checkbook at the Citibank ATM. And sorry to the guy in the Astroburger drive-thru line who changed his order six times.

Sorry to the woman at the doctor's office who coughed 20 times without covering her mouth, then asked to borrow my magazine -- you don't know why I'm sorry, but I am. Sorry to Bill for erasing the NBA games from 20 years ago that hogged our valuable Tivo space, then pretending it was an accident. Sorry to the female driver who accused me of not planning to pick up my dog poop when I was already holding the poop bag in my hand and figuring out how to bend over when I'm pregnant, and sorry for threatening to throw the poop at her car when that's probably against the law. Sorry to my daughter for everything you've witnessed lately. And sorry for everyone who has to read this lame rant. Just don't complain to Bill about it if you know what's best for you.

I have got to start reading this article! Thanks :)