HEY

Let me just say I hate life today. I hate everything. I want nothing more than to go drink. and i can't. I want to get plastered, cry, dance---something. Is that an escape from reality? It sure is. And I miss being able to escape. I would escape in a run, I'd escape in a bottle of wine, or a night out. But, now, my escape---well, there is none. this sober shit and not being able to physically wear myself down just stinks.

I tried walking today, only to give myself the worst cramp ever to where I felt like maybe--just maybe I had kickstarted some contractions or labor. But here I sit 2 hours later with nothing. The cramp has gone, and no more have come on. I'm just as miserable now as I was then. and drinking/running does the same thing, I mean, it doesn't just go away, but the rush and feeling great is so much more of a rush than that stupid cramp i got.

Anyway. My birthday was ok. KS got me 2 pocket books from Aero, they're really cute and simple. And I got a gift card for a new pair of shoes and itunes. yaaay. Christmas was nice too. I got a lot of great things. I still wasn't in the christmas spirit at all. I dont think I'm in any spirit right now other than miserable. Ok. I've vented. I mean, I realy didn't vent about anything in particular, which is ok I dont wanna bore you with that crap...but I've cursed and written. Which makes me feel better. Not as good as wine, or a good sweaty run, but hey, you're all I got right now.

ok. so thats my update.

heeeey ya'll

Ok, now that it's out of the way. I haven't really felt like it's my birthday. I almost broke down and cried yesterday b/c of how much I feel like a) it's not christmas, b) i don't feel like it's my birthday, and c) I"m sick and tired!!

oh yeah, guess mr. bossman unblocked me. booo-ya! haha. woohoo update land time :)

Um, but yeah so i've been sick for the past, 2 weeks! I think KS's daughter snuck some germs in on us b/c ever since that weekend i've been miserable! Oh, and my right arm was going numb when i was sleeping, but now it's just full blown my right middle finger all day everyday. Damn thing. The nurse said to me "oh it'll all go away once you give birth" great, great...but when the hell will that be?!

Oh---which reminds me. Guess if you want


boy or girl?? Colin or Emma?? here's two of those pics for ya to see:



alrighty. so yessssssss, i'm excited i can write!!

wow

OMG where the hell to start? My boss blocked off my connection to my blog so I can't update at work. and frankly after sitting at my desk for almost 9 hours a day the last thing I ever wanna do when I get home is park my ass (big one at the moment! ha!) in front of this thing. But here I am cause I miss you guys. i miss writting and such.

I had my baby shower on Dec 1st, which was a total blast. This baby is so spoiled already and it hasn't even come into the world. we got everything (i think...that I know of) imaginable that you could need. Unfortunately (and I do this a lot) i figured out what was going on (it was supposed to be a suprise) at the last minute...and thank god b/c i didn't put any make up on that day! haha. i dind't get to change my clothes though-darn! My aunts from Texas and Atlanta came in for it. That was the biggest suprise that stopped me in my tracks. I loved it. It was so nice to have the family together.

What else? oh, the baby hasn't show any signs of coming out yet. dangit. haha. I'm getting more and more uncomfortable as my right hand has decided to numb itself. Pretty much the past week its' been going numb when i'm sleeping. And i thought maybe i was just sleeping wrong, but now its like an all day thing...the damn hand (and mostly the right middle finger) is just swollen. My ankles are insane. here's a mental picture: I only wear sneakers now (since I can't really wear flip flops in 30 degree weather) and from my sneakers down...yay, normal. but from the point of my socks up....holy shit. Its silly looking. Its like the swelling sits at the point of where my sock is, so when I take my socks and shoes off i have this dent...its weird.

so yeah my boss blocked me. we're so completely slow and i'm training him and the girl in my office how to do m y job so that while i'm gone shit will get done. well, in taht mean time i have nothing to do! so i was on my message boards. well, um, i think he got annoyed at that and thought it was webchat and now blogger comes up blocked as webchat. nice, huh? the funny thing about it is that he'll sit at his desk and play solitaire, do his soduku book (that i got him for christmas last year), or read a book. But yet, I can't be on my blogger. Oh well, I'm not the boss, its not my money, company, etc. but still....makes me mad!

for my birthday (on thrusday) hubby suprised me early. last week we went to sears to get some pictures done. I got to show off the belly and they look so great. they're on my myspace page if anyone has access...if not, maybe i'll get around to posting a few. i really love them.

i think that's all for exciting things i can think of now.

i miss you all.

and yes pink....mr b-west stopped short of his touchdown...i didn't know what to think of it. if it was smart to waste time, or what? sorry about that, i'll have a talk with him! haha

pugmom--love ya chick. hope the tat is healing well.

j--its ok, i know we dont email as much b/c of time and stuff, but glad to hear you're still alive, and still doing well.