I fucking hate this place--in my life, at work, fucking a dude...I need a drink!

I don't even know where to start. Over the past, let's say--week, I've been a complete bitch. I'm moody, I'm miserable and I want to just go off at someone, or something soon! Maybe it's the lack of exercise--I've only done 2 workouts in the past two weeks. We all know that exercise eases (my) mind, and makes the body feel great.

I'll start with the weekend. Now, I know this has happened before, so I'm just going to rant--again, on the same fucking thing. And might I add, excuse the language and if you feel you might get offended, stay the fuck away b/c I'm going all dirty mouth on this entry.

KS mom. Well, she told him earlier last week that she might come up this weekend to hang out with us. she was going to take him and/or I shopping since she had saved up some Christmas money. I thought it was cute. Unnecessary, but cute.

Well, Friday night comes along and so I ask KS what's going on with that. He said, oh i forgot to tell you, she might not be coming up b/c his daughter called his mom and wanted to spend the night.

Note to self---M, seriously, like you didn't know that was going to happen.

But, she would only spend the night if baby mom wasn't taking them to Great Adventure the next day and that depended on the weather.

I checked the forecast and there was rain predicted, and it did come pounding down all Saturday morning. So i went about my day and did what I did. Then all the sudden his mom calls me at around 1pm and says oh sorry hun I won't be able to make it...
here's the excuse I get: "KS dad wanted us to go to the store, and we got a late start. Then now he wants me to make him lasagna for dinner so I'm on my way to the store to get stuff to make it. Oh well, maybe another weekend." And I reply back with "yeah I figured you weren't coming, it's fine"

so then, the best part is...Ks gets a call later Sat night and it's his daughter. She's with her mom-mom (Ks mom) and spending the night.

Fucking liar. Why the hell didn't she just say to me--look, I might get my granddaughter and I don't wanna miss out on my precious, precious time with her so I'm going to put off spending time with you again. I'm almost beginning to think she just plain out doesn't like me. This is--no joke-- the 3rd or 4th time she's said she's wanted to do something with me, and then cancelled for the granddaugther or just brought the granddaughter along. I'm at the point where I'm just going to tell her or Ks or whoever asks when she wants to do something that I"m busy. I'm tired of the let down and tired of the lies and excuses she says. not that she's a bad person, I'm sure, like my crazy mom, she means well, but she sure as hell doesn't show it in these instances.

Well, so that's the MIL issue, and that's not going away and it's not from being pregnant. I vented and have been burdened by these situations often throughout the relationship. and it's not going to end. And I expect it from her, so I shouldn't be let down. I just don't know how to deal with it. I guess like I said--just say I'm busy and that way I'm not hurt. Then I feel like I'm closing myself off, or putting up a wall. but who doesn't do that when they get hurt? Especially when it's time after time. Usually I'd remove myself (and I hope everyone would) from the person/situation that's bothering me or causing me anguish. But, fuck, I'm pretty much stuck.

*****************
And then there's my mom. And then there's work. And then there's a friend of mine. I hate everyone right now. Ok, not everyone, but most people.

My mom pissed me off b/c she just does whatever the fuck she wants and doesn't care about anyone else. Oh, and she lets me down too. and has excuses for why she wasn't there for me...again. Why me? You know, what the hell did I ever do, or not do that I deserve this shit?

My mom said she's make it to a baby doctor appointment--never has. My mom said she'd come with me to get the mole removed and be there since KS couldn't--she didn't make it. My mom said she'd take care of my cat--and she's fucked that up too.

How did she fuck that up? Well, in letting her care for my cat (since KS and I couldn't' come up with 1400 dollar deposit for the cat in our new place) I chose and asked her since I knew a) she loved my cat, and b) she wanted one animal. When I bought kitty---the adoption people had specifics for her. She wasn't to be in a household with children (she freaks out and has lashed at KS daughter..but strangely will sit on her chest, and occasionally let her pet her...but only for a few moments) and she was to be in a household with no other pets. Kitty doesn't get along well with others!
So what the fuck does my mom do? Well, besides feeding the cat dog food? Yeah, great one on that...she buys a kitten. My cat is going to freak...or already is. Or she'll kill the darn thing. I know she's (my cat) not happy. she needs attention, she wants to be loved, and I'm so upset and my mom knew it. But you know what---she didn't care. She just said "oh I knew at some point that you'd take your cat back ane i wanted a cat." Well shit face...I was thinking of letting you have her. I didn't say that to my mom, but it did cross my mind. And now I'm so upset, I just want to take my cat back. But we live on a non pet friendly street and we don't have 1400 dollars to put for a deposit for the animal. I don't even know what to do.
The worst part is, my sister wanted an animal. I tried telling my mom to give the cat to my sister. First off my sister (and mom as well) can only afford on animal. Hell, as many times as my mom calls me and asks for money it makes me wonder how she takes care of herself...but that's another issue. I tried telling my mom to give the cat to my sister. The cat is already trained, already has her shots, doesn't need grooming (like her dog did)and you don't have to worry about her like a dog if you're to go away for the weekend!
but nooooooooooooooooo---my mom had to go out and buy my sister a kitten...and give herself on in the process. Oh, and my mom also has a puppy. In a fucking apartment!! god, does it get any worse? Ok, I know it can get worse. But hell, I'm frustrated.

********************
then there's work....
I'm so pissed off. I hate this place. I almost didn't come into work yesterday. i wanted to quit. I still want to. I don't know now if I should look now (its stupid i know), or wait till after my maternity leave (March) or try to find one while I'm on maternity leave?

All the options sound wonderful. I just want out. I'm tired of getting shit on, I'm tired of the disrespect and unfairness and kiss-ass shit that goes on. I'm so over it. And since I"m pregnant, I can be as bitchy and hateful as I want. It's no excuse, but if I'm feeling it...I'm showing it. And right now, I'm about to explode!

We had to hire someone since 3mom is leaving..well the GM decided to do that on his own...after I had 4 interviews set up. Then he took one of my interviews b/c he claimed no one could find me--yet, my boss and I were at our desks for the entire time! But anyway, meathead thought he was high and mighty for interviewing such a great candidate...and then told me how she could do anyone's job up here (and I assume that was a stab at me for whatever the fuck reason).

Then he yelled at the new girl he hired to get with me about when she'd start..so I told her. But then he told her something completely different and started her whenever the god damned he felt like it. So why the fuck did he yell at her and ask me too waht was going on if he was going to tell people what to do anyway?? And he didn't tell me or my boss. he didn't even discuss with us the hiring of her. So fuck it. Why do I care. I hate this shit.

that's my update, my shit list and my rant. I was just reading my Cosmo and it said it's uncool to rant about your shit list , but cool to rant about your life list. So the next entry...maybe today, will be about happy stuff. But today, it's all about the shit.

The mole got partially removed, and I dont like the people in baby class!!

Can I tell ya I'm not a fan of baby class? That same older couple steals it every time. I'm usually feeling ok after getting through the door of the first class, but I haven't felt comfortable the entire time! I don't know if it's because everyone's stuck up their own asses or what, but I don't like it. It's not very open or laid back. I mean, our instructor last night was really great. She talked a lot and we discussed a lot, and had us ask any questions we wanted. But still, I didn't feel completely happy there or anything like that. Oh well. I guess I was just hoping to make friends or something. A guy here @ work and the first instructor from the previous week said they'd made friends there that they're still in contact w/ today! But I know that's rare (probably) so I'll let it go.

I went to the doctor's yesterday to get a biopsy done of my mole.
This is me almost every morning looking at the darn thing, inspecting it, and freaking out over it.


Its such a gross, disgusting growth I have on my left ta-ta. Well, it's more like right at the spot where the bra hits between the armpit. And it gets irritated b/c of where it is. And that may be why it itches. And itching is a sign to see the doc, and so is discoloration. Normal moles (well, all the other ones I have) are of the same color, there are no spots in them. The one I have had one spot like the size and color of a coffee ground, and now there's a ton of those spots. This is why I went BACK to the doctor.

So he put lidocaine on it (the nurse came in with a needle like this!!!):



and the whole time I was sitting there praying----please work, please work, I'm scared, yikes!!!! Because he came in with the scalpel (I admit I was NOT happy when i heard that word!)


And you know what? I didn't even feel pressure. I didn't feel a thing! I was sooo worried b/c I've had bad bad experiences at the dentist when I'm getting fillings and on my 1 root canal. They always tell ya its not going to hurt, and they numb you up. BUT-- every single time I always wince, or feel pressure. OR like the root canal--almost jumped out of that damned seat! he hit THE spot where it hurt. It brought tears to my eyes! But luckily, my family doc not like that.

BABY BELLY PICS!!

Holy bananas there's some skin in this entry! haha. But not the skin anyone will get excited over...just my big ol belly!! haha.




The above picture makes it looks so much bigger!!


and now from another angle. Can ya tell I'm bored @ work?!!

10 stolen questions.

I stole this from a life less ordinary. I thought these are good questions that I wanted to answer. So here it goes.

1. Describe Your Dream House/Environment.
Dream house--would have a nice big open front porch like this one:


I'd also like it to be 2 stories PLUS a basement. all the bedrooms would be upstairs. I'd love, love to have the staircase be open on the second floor. Here's a picture for your eyes.


I'd love for it to be somewhere near a beach, but that's not a definite. I just love the porch and open upstairs ideas.

2. Favorite physical feature of the same and opposite sex?
I'm a--look at the whole package girl. I don't have one specific feature that I like. I'd like him to be symmetrical (no chicken legs but big a** biceps), a good face to look at! I like clean-shaven. I've never been a fan of beards, go-t's or any of that. A chinstrap MIGHT be ok...cause it really doesn't get in the way of kissing. No one needs prickly face (mine turns completely red b/c of the irritation of face hair!).

3. What’s the last entire CD you fell in love with and couldn’t stop playing?
It’s been a while since an entire CD and I fell in love. I’d say right now, the Colbie Caillat CD. I first heard the song on my sister’s mysp@ce page. She said it reminded her of her baby, and now, of course I’ve taken a liking to the song. I let Ks listen to it, and he loves it and the CD. The CD is very easygoing and laid back. Perfect for joyriding and thinking. Or sitting somewhere, it’s good background music.

4. What song do you want played at your funeral/wake?
Some happy stuff. Something funny to make people smile. I don’t want people all miserable. I want them to know that I lived a full and happy life, and not be sad that its over. Well, I mean of course they will be sad, but more I guess proud of the person I was. Are there even songs played at funerals? There haven’t been any at the one’s I’ve been to. Hmm…I really never thought of that till now.

5. What’s your Least Favorite errand to run?
Going to pick up KS daughter 2 hours away. I hate the situation, I hate being in the car that long (cause 2 hours down means 2 hours back up).

6. Three things that really steam your broccoli! (make you angry)
1. Being kept waiting when I’m on time for an appointment. ß--that’s such a good one! So true, and that’s actually why I was crying @ another doc appt. I mean, not to mention I was already hormonal… but he kept me waiting and that really fired me up!!
2. People who drive like ass holes! I hate people that ride all the way up on an ending lane and force their way into yours. And the jerk offs who don’t merge, but merely run you off the road to get into traffic rather than, you know…what the sign says---yield!! Or the asshole sitting in the left hand lane going 5 under the speed limit---that’s what the RIGHT lane is for. Sooo…basically traffic in general and the way some people drive. I get road rage easily.
3. In conversations when someone cuts you off, or won’t let you get word in. I hate that! And nothing can lose my attention faster. If someone cuts me off while talking...or talks loudly over me to get their point, that’ when I tune out and shut off---i.e. conversation is OVER.

7. Do you believe in an afterlife?
Well, this is tricky. I mean, I do. I do. That’s my honest answer. Sure, yes.

8. Favorite children’s book?
I don’t know if it’s a children’s book, but charlotte’s web was always a favorite for me. Oh, and any Bernstein bears books!

9. Why is ________ your all-time favorite movie?
If I had one this would be easy. I guess the movies that I like all have common elements—struggle, love, fight, and a good ending!?

10. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
This was a previous entry. I would say flying b/c it just seems like fun!

need more interesting stuffs

I really need to do flashier updates like my friend kitty. Mine seem so boring with so many words in them. I need more pictures. Everyone loves pictures!

I got over the last entry. When KS got home and on his ride home I told him how I felt and he already knew and continued to appologise and say how stupid he felt cause he knew he should've just stayed. Upon talking in person later he said he was waiting for me to say "stay with me, don't go" since I'm usually the more level headed one and make good decisions (he said he makes bad ones, and that day was just bad decision after bad decision) but I'm not selfish enough to say that to him. And he knows that...but..alas...life.

We had fun at baby class. I noticed that:

a) only 2 of us ladies had makeup on (why can't pregnant women look hot?)
b) everyone seemed older, more mature than us (and I"m freaking 27, he's 28!!)
c) there has to be some stupid ass (people sitting next to ks making ppffffllllllllll sounds all night, and the older couple on my side where the husband had to say quirky things like "can I get the epidoral too?") in every situation.
oh and d) I hate speaking out loud and noticed that I don't look at anyone in particular when I do speak out loud...and as much as I try and use my "teacher voice", I always end up mumbling or having to repeat myself.

But you know---I mean, I'm a woman but I DID NOT need to see a birth. I mean that's just gross. I won't see that sh**. I'm on the upside, I can't see my va-jay-jay now b/c of my big ass belly--let alone when a human is coming out of it! Good gawd, I just was *jaw dropped* at seeing it. It's much too much. has anyone seen knocked up? Like that..only way freaking worse!! and that was the first time I'd seen that (knocked up!)

Then there's all the stages and approximation of hours of contractions and labor and intensities and all that---too much information. I mean, ok, I'm trying to be realistic and I need whole range things--the big picture. Not parts.

Anyway. So I look forward to learning more. But seeing no more of that stuff.


***OH, a big huge thanks to kitty, too for saying I was toally fabulous. wowey. That made my day.******

And there has been way to much going on. There is a certain situation I'd love to tell you about, but it's a bit much and I dont know if I want to go into that on here. After the situation settled, I found that the friend who told me (which started the whirlwind which was yesterday) about what she heard got mad at me for telling my husband (who was directly involved!!!). She said *so and so will be mad at me b/c I wasn't supposed to say anything*

Um, hello?! Who cares! its so freaking childish. But, like I said, I'm not going to get into it other than--I think I'm losing another friend. I can't stand how she's (always) been acting. She's so selfish and self-centered. I've always wondered how anyone could put up with her. It seems its always her way or no way. And if you're going through something different than she is--when you're going through it before her thats when its not a good idea. but when she's going through it, thats when its the best thing ever and OMG you should do this too. I'm so tired of it.

I had an interview @ Bath and Body works last night for a christmas seasonal job. I'm hoping I"ll only work 2 days a week, maybe 3. I just want some extra cash for when the baby comes, or to pay off a bill. But that was the most interesting interview I've ever been on. I've never had a group interview and I took away a lot of good questions that I'll be asking tomorrow when i have my 4 interviews!! I wish I could do a group one! Oh well. Que ser ra (something like that)

Just a vent...a bit long, sorry

Well, the doc. appt went well. Baby's got a good heartbeat and I've gained more weight (surprise surprise). The baby's heartbeat is 129 or 130 which is slower than last time, but still great. My blood pressure is great, so no signs of pre-ecclampsia (high blood pressure), diabetes, or any of that nonsense. I asked my doc about my goofy mole (I asked her since its on my breast and I'm not sure if that will effect breastfeeding if there is something wrong), and she suggested getting it removed or biopsied. I asked her about it because it has changed, and my doc said to notify him if it does. And she said they can put topical numbing things on to remove/biopsy it. I guess I'll call good ol doc and see what he says. I'm just nervous.

Onto my real reason for coming and venting.

KS missed the last doctor appointment b/c he forgot about it and had to work. This time I made him write it down in his schedule book, and he forgot again and scheduled himself to work. He fixed it and got off for the day to go.

UNTIL...

His babymom called last night and told him about a parent luncheon today at their daughters school. He told her she was off but that we had a baby doctor appointment and to let him know what time it was (cause she didn't know). She added-- she knew it was short notice but that she just forgot to tell him, BUT she was telling him now in case he could go, and that she'd text him in the morning with the time of the luncheon *thanks*

He talked it over with me, and I told him to go to the luncheon b/c it would mean a lot to his daughter. She would be so excited and surprised to see her daddy come to her school. And I knew it meant a lot to the both of them. And it was just a regular baby doc. appt, nothing exciting like ultrasounds or tests. And i said "as long as you make it back for class tonight, that's fine with me cause I'd rather not go to class by myself."

So the morning came, and no word from her. I don't know why she couldn't have text'd him last night of the time, but apparently the morning wasn't good either b/c he had to text her. But here's what makes me disappointed I guess is the best word. He comes to my appointment, and I told him how happy I was that he could make it and that he was there.

My appointment was at 915am. We got there around 910am and our doctor was doing a delivery so it'd be a while of a wait. He texts her in the waiting room and asks what time the luncheon is. She responds--"1055 so I'll just go" and then says to me, should I go? and I ask if he can make it and he says yeah, but I need gas.

Now, the problem in this situation is that the school is a little over 2 hours away. I personally didn't think he'd make it there in time. But I knew how much he wanted to go and said to him that it was OK for him to go, and that I understood. So he left.

I kept an eye on the door to the doctors office to see if he'd change his mind.

It didn't happen.

So now I went to my 2nd baby doctor appointment in a row by myself. I didn't cry this time like I did last time, mainly b/c I had my doc and I love her. But I was holding back tears as he was leaving.

I felt disappointed. More because I was already prepared to have him not go...and then he was there, so I was happy. but then he left me at the appointment alone. I don't know if its just the hormones, or if anyone would feel let down.

And then I feel bad b/c maybe I'm being selfish, like how dare I expect him to come to every baby doc. appointment, and especially miss out on his daughters luncheon. I mean if it was the other way around and he already planned for the luncheon and I asked him to drop that to go w/ me. but that's not what happened. at all.

and then i feel, that, I knew this. I knew and know these obstacles will always come up. I knew and felt from the beginning of this relationship that there would be sacrifices by me..and our children for the other child. I just wasn't sure how I'd feel when it happened. And it got me thinking about the future and what it will mean down the road. What other obstacles will i be disappointed over?

There are many other things in life to stress over. And my problems really aren't that bad. I'm really just venting my sadness and disappointment of my day. What will really make me cry is if he doesn't make it back for our class tonight.

Oh, I forgot. Since he missed the luncheon, the mom said it was ok to take the child out of school for half a day (which I didn't agree with b/c I think education is important). So at least his trip wasn't a total waste. He gets to spend time with his daughter. But now, he's 2 hours away, and when will someone be there to watch her so he can come home?

**I do want to add that KS was totally appologetic and felt stupid for going down there. he was so excited to be included, but when he figuerd he'd be late he felt like a fool. He kept saying that over and over and appologising to me.

the weekend

We went to an apple orchard this weekend. It was so much fun. The only downside was waiting in line for 45 minutes for apple cider donuts.

source.

But, at the point where my feet started to hurt, I figured I'd already waited that long so don't stop now. And they were sooo worth the wait.

While I was doing that, my nephew was playing in the pumpkin patch!




How freaking adorable is he?! haha. and then there was myself. I promise you, I do usually try and put forth an effort, but that didn't happen this weekend. i was makeup-less and didn't do a darn thing to my hair. I miss my old dark hair. I'm soo over this highlight thing. ugh. I think I'll ask my doctor that tomorrow (if its ok to dye it back).



My dumbass put perfume on before going (not thinking) and after I sprayed it---i said "that was stupid" And of course the bees, they were a swarming! Luckily no one got stung.

Ks went out and got his Wii. We got to Toys R Us early Sunday morning. They didn't open till 10am and about 3 weeks ago CQ's mom went and got her one. she said her mom didn't have to wait and there wasn't a line, which I told Ks. Well, we got there around 930 and they were already sold out. The manager decided to open and sell the Wii's early since there was such a line outside already. Ks was so upset all day. I felt bad for telling him that it wouldn't be a big deal. But apparently you can't find them anywhere anymore. But he did get a used one at a game store. We saved 20 bucks. That isn't that fantastic to me, but hey, I'm not complaining. 20 bucks is 20 bucks.

so that's it, I won't complain about it. He got his Christmas present early. And that was my weekend. I'll be updating on our doc apptand my first baby class (tomorrow night)! yaaay.

They found my car!!

J--you must be psychic! (J asked me earlier in the week if I'd heard anything or what came about of it).

KS got a phone call from the district attorney's office wanting to know if we could provide information to convict the guy the found in my car. i don't know why finding him in my car w/ possession of weed isn't enough..but hey, I"m only a regular person here...

But so this is how it happened:

Sept 20th---dude is in the city and a police officer is behind him, runs the plate an finds it's stolen so he follows him to about his residence and arrests him. This guy works in a school! Can you believe that! Teachers struggle to get into jobs teaching @ schools but they'll let a hooligan like this in?! And he had a RECORD..a few (8 or so) convictions on his record. The best part---we share the same birthday (minus the year, he's younger).

The car got turned over to the police, who turned it over to my insurance company who has it currently at a salvage place. I don't know why it's at a salvage place b/c apparently it's in tact. Well, all my belongings are gone (that's what I spend my almost 2 hour lunch break doing--and then some). I tracked down my insurance company and they called the place who sent someone to my car and they found nothing. BASTARD!!

Oh well. At least they found and got the car. There are conflicting stories though. I should add. At the hit and run in August the woman he (or someone) hit described the driver of my vehicle as a Caucasian male, about 6' tall w/ blond hair. Now, the guy they found and arrested in my vehicle was a black male, 5'8" 200lbs---way off. so I don't know who really stole it, or if they both did. The story is crazy.

I'm just happy to have moved on and now I have my car and actually I get to pick up my license plate tonight! woohoo, get rid of the t-tag. I hate them. It feels so unofficial in a car w/out a plate. i wish I could have my old tag #. It was a low digit plate and around here, people pay money for stuff like that. But I can't get it back now b/c I'll have problems being that it was stolen.

Well that about cheered me up on my Friday. Hope you all have a great weekend. i think it's my turn to head to starbucks (decaf :( though )now, since my lovelies did! yaaay for starbucks. Although, it is contradictory to my previous post about money. but hey, at least its only 4 bucks, not like i wanna spend 250 dollars on a Wii (damn husband!!!)

Depressing---dont read past the first 8 lines or something.

To clarify (for eh, hem, J!!) in yesterday's post the females are:

Hope Solo--and I agree w/ her rant too J. I would've been just as emotionally charged as she was. I actually had a few moments like that on the semi-pro team I played for. But..anyhoo...
Gabrielle Reece
Charlize Theron
Gwen Stefani

And in going on my celebrity gossip page today, I forgot Eva Mendez. She's so pretty. I'd like to look like her, too.



I put this picture up here to emphasise tweety's last sentence.

the past because I'm regretting some stupid decisions. Why did i spend 155 dollars getting my hair done? Why did I just buy a brand new car when I could've gotten a used one for a lower car payment--full knowing the baby was coming?!! Why did I spent 170 dollars on my sister for her birthday? Why did I let KS get that new tv when we really don't need it? Why dind't I pay off bills with extra money when I inteded and planned to? And what did I spend that money on?!!! I mean all these bad, bad decisions keep wavering in and out of my mind. I can't change it NOW, but it sure is ruining today.

I've been so worried and stressed out today. I re-did our budget more realistically for when the baby comes. Well, after looking at our income, then taking away our monthly bills, we only have 800 dollars a month left over. I cried. Daycare can be that much a month. Let alone food for us, diapers for the baby, gas to get to work and pick the baby up! I have no clue. I was texting w/ KS about what to do. He said he'll get a pt job to help payoff some bills, but really---we might be able to pay off 2 and that will give us another 100 dollars a month. *IF* we can luck out and spend 600/month on daycare, the will leave us maybe 300/month for the other stuff. I don't know how realistic that is. And the best part is--I"ll be on maternity leave for 6 weeks--only getting 66% of my pay. Good gawd I have no clue how the bills are going to be paid. I don't.

But like Tweety said, I can't ruin today's happiness over it. I'll have to leave it up to the universe to figure itself out. Well, and maybe get a part time job till I'm due. I was thinking of working overtime @ work and trying to get some more moola. But that really won't add up to paying off or helping out. I guess I could get a christmas job.

Realistically I'm the only one who can. KS has such wacky hours in retail that he can't have a set schedule, and come christmas time he'll be working 6 days a week. Plus he has to get his daughter every other weekend. When is he going to work? Ya know. So there's me. I dont even know where to start. I was going to apply @ babies r us, but I was late for my interview there and no one was there. Plus I have all these woes about "will anyone hire me since Im pregnant?" I mean, they can't discrimiate--but what can I do? I"m lost.

and then I don't even want to think about christmas. Thank goodness my mom and sister decided they dont' want to exchange gifts this year. That is a godsend. Maybe I can convince everyone else to do the same? Yeah, i didn't think so either, but I'll try.



*******
Onto funnier things. I forgot to let you lovelies know what I was forced to do this weekend. Did I tell ya about the cheerleading competition?! Yeah---that was a nightmare!! I despise that whole cheerleading/pagent world anyway, but wow. We were stuck in a building for 7 hours at this competition. Of nothing but cheering, screaming kids from ages 6-12 or 13. OH-MY-LORD.

I pointed to the baby and said ---you better be a boy cause mommy can't handle this! lol. I looked at KS and said--God is going to find it humorous to give me all girls who will be cheerleaders. And I'll have to go to these competitions and pretend I'm happy. He started laughing. On the way home he added--what will you do if its a boy and he wants to be a cheerleader? I looked right back at him and said "what will YOU do?" LOL

Being an athlete and all, I just do not see the whole cheerleading thing. Sure, its aerobic, dance all that stuff...but I've haven't ever...and I repeat...ever..wanted to be a cheerleader. At. all.

Ok. I'm dunzo on my rant for now.

ok, ok

since I was being a stinker yesterday and did not post any girls..here's for J and anyone else who might be interested. Not that who I think is gorgeous is who you think would be--but here are women who I think are very beautiful.


US Goal keeper Hope Solo...come on, the girl came to the games w/ full eyeliner and make up done--that's my kinda girl! Oh, and husband says she looks like a barbie. Like if barbie were real, this would be her. Interesting?!!


Gabrielle Reece--if only I had a body like hers.


I think she is just the best looking female actress out there. I just think she's a classic.


And with my Gwen. I love her. She is a bit quirky in her style, but that's why everyone loves her. She's beautiful w/out the red lips!!!



that's all I could think of for now. I know there are plenty beautiful females otu there. I think I picked these b/c they reflect a lot of me. There are others (jennifer garner, sandra bullock, kate hudson) who I relate to as down to earth pretty girls next door like me. but there's my female portion of the list.


**********update--I just saw this...I so rock.

Sexy bodies...

From the fabulous suggestion of PuggMom. I'm going to update you on some gorgeousness. haha. I have a consistent taste in men...and you'll see why in the following pictures.

I think I did something like this in old diary. . but anyhooo...heres the hotness thus far and in no perticular order:

the first one is Zinedine Zidan. Yowsa, talk French to me--yummy!


Here is another athlete. His name is Ben Roethlisberger aka big ben (eh hem, yeah wouldn't we all like to know!)


Here is another hottness jason Statham from Crank, and The Transporter movies:


I'm sure many people have this hunk on theirs--Vin Diesel. I know, I know, meathead, but just the looks part...yes !!!!


And Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock---my, oh my!!


There is some manjoyment!!! I can't say that I'm attracted to women, so I'll leave that one alone. Do you think I have a pattern w/ the guys?! Uh huh. My favorite hunk is my husband, so I'll just say that in case he comes across this(not that he doesn't know who I think is attractive--he teases me ALL the time on these guys).

Super powers

Everything is so smashed in my stomach region! ugh. I ate way too much for lunch and now I"m paying for it. I can't stop burping and I feel all kinds of uncomfortable. NEVER GET PREGNANT YOU ALL--NEVER. haha. Just kidding.

Did I mention that I've gotten hooked on a new show? Heroes? We've been watching season 1 on DVD for the past week and we're down to the last 2 episodes. I tried pushing through last night but I was done. We can usually get done a disk a night--and lemme tell ya--watching a season on DVD is WAY WAY better than watching regular tv. You don't have to worry about the--damnit! wait till next week stuff. But we're closing the gap on that. WE have what, 2 new episodes to watch now?

So this got me thinking the other day--if I could have any power, what would it be? When I was younger I always wished I'd had power. I got in trouble for bringing a fake sword to school in 1st grade. I used to think i could fly, or ooh my favorite was when I thought I could cast spells. My imagination was wild. It was so much fun back then, and now...I don't have moments like that. Of course we can't--we're adults. someone might think we have some mental problem. Espeically when I'd go around pretending I was He-man or She-ra. Oh yeah, that was fun.

but really--I thought at first it'd be cool to fly. But then I dream that I fly, so that I get. But what about reading people's minds? For the character (in the show) it can be helpful, but a lot of times it holds him back and is more of a burden. So I'm thinking no on that one.

Transport through time? Naah, i wouldn't want to. Well, i don't think anyway.

Being invisible? No, cause just like the mind reading, it would come w/ some hard moments that I'd not want to see (I'm sure).

What others? I have no clue. When i was younger I just wanted some power. something to do that was cool. I think maybe that's what the creators of the show tried to embrace--that little kid inside of us that wished when they were younger to have some power. Am I the only one who thought that? Nahhh, you all did too, don't leave me hanging on that one.

So my point in bringing the show up was that of course I wanted to rant about how when i was a kid I pretended i was cool like that. You know what else I did--I signed my name? Oh yeah. I thought I was going to be famous! I was going to sign autographs and stuff.

yeah.

the only signing I do is on the checks at work and home, on paperwork @ work and home...and yeah that's it. no cute pictures or fans wanting *my* signature that i worked so hard to develop. oh well.

Anyway, the lack of sleep is showing (watching the series keeps me up b/c we're watching what 4 episodes a night and that's keeping me up till 1am). And for geese sake--I'm pregnant! I need sleep!!!

Have a great weekend.

finally--an update!

awe, I love you. & you. !

I tried (honestly, I really, really, really did) updating yesterday. I got two sentences out and said to hell with it. I had a runny nose and just wanted someone to send my sick, pregnant ass home. but of course, that wouldn't happen here--ever.

where to begin--Pictures. I took a picture of my fat ass self today. yes, I can say that, i own the body. I know, its for a good/great cause but good lord I'm so over this baby thing. I want my body back! I wanna be able to bend over w/out trouble, and I want to run, i want to play soccer, i want a big glass of beer ---make that 2!


here was 16 weeks or 4 months into it: I was still comfortable


and here is 24 weeks (2 weeks ago) when I was motivated to go for a walk--imagine that!


And now here is me today with just about 3 months to go @ 26weeks along!! Where did my old stomach go?!


I really should post a pre-baby belly picture for you to see what horrible things babies do to bellies! yeah, but then...nah, I'm not gonna worry.

I had a realy bad doc appt last time I went. I had THE WORST monthly check up ever. Since my doc's practice has 4 docs, and any of them could be the delivering doctor--I have to see them. I met another one two months ago (I see mine, I see a diff, I see mine, see a diff..etc). He was fine, was a bit older, but nice.

the guy left me in tears! My apt was at 10 and I got there exactly at 10. Maybe 2 min after bc of parking...but still..I was on time. I waited 40 minutes in the room for him to come. Every other time..its' been in and out..but this was ridiculous. And I thought to myself--I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe he takes his time and talks to patients--that'd be a good change.

Well that sure didn't happen. I was waiting so long on the table that my back started hurting, so I sat in the chair and he walked in and introduced himself (didn't offer to shake my hand), told me to hop on the table and he'd check the heartbeat. He did not tell me the heartbeat (which they always always do), asked if I had any questions (i had one)..and he asked about the 1st trimester screening, asked if I had the amnio..and said any more questions..ok, see you in 4 weeks.

3 minutes of his time...he had his back to me the entire time looking @ my chart and then left. Didnt' smile, wasn't pleasant, and as soon as I walked out of the exam room, i started bawling. The nurse at the desk asked me if i was ok, and she got me tissues. I didn't want to say anything right then b/c I was too upset.

I called my husband and he tried calming me down and tried telling me to pull over. I didn't. Instead I tried to stop crying and went to the grocery store to get tissues for work in case I couldn't calm down.

I went back to work...and hour and a half later! I told my boss it'd prob be 45 min--it usually is! but I was waiting for 45 min. Those bastards charge all that money for an appointment and he saw me for 3 minutes. I lost time from work b/c he for whatever reason took so long. Maybe I'm just emotional. I've been having these crying spats lately.

I just realy, really really do not want that doctor to be my delivery one. I will cry and get upset. A girl here @ work told me I could scream at him when I'm giving labor and it'd be a-ok. LOL. I thougth that was cute, but I don't ever want to deal w/ that man again. EVER.

That was my debaucle last month. This month, we have baby classes. woohoo. They don't start till the 16th, but I'm excited. I'm nervous, all this means that I'm getting THAT much closer to the end. And boy, am I scared.

Did I mention we're not finding out what the sex of the baby is? I cant tell you how many people are annoyed by this. I mean, hell, I wanna know too but gees! Wait till it pops out!

I've had problems with my mom--she pulled one of her "ill have dinner ready at 7" and we were there till 1030PM before dinner was even ready! the worst part about it is-- well, besides me throwing a fit-- was that we had Ks's daughter there. She needed to be in bed, let alone eat way before 1030. The child is on a schedule and we can't go wacking it all up b/c my mom can't get it together. Ugh, and she doesn't care. She didn't care that I was crying and hungry and had a headache and wanted to go home! Asshole.

what else? Um, so the neighbors. oh this is nice. We have parking issues in front of our townhouse. Each townhouse gets 2 spots. Well, the one nextdoor to us is vacant so the girls across the street park there usually every day. When i got home from work tuesday night, someone (not the girls) had parked in front of our townhouse--leaving only room for my car and not Ks's. Well around 9pm they moved it, but then I looked and one of the girls across the street had parked there, but then she moved it before he got home.

So why do I get home yesterday and one of the girls is parked 3/4 of the way in my parking spot, so that there's room for my car, but not Ks's---again. the part that fired me up the most is--there was an empty spot in front of their townhouse and an empty spot in front of the vacant house!! so why the hell did they park in front of mine!!

You know what my angry, pregnant and annoyed ass did? Went over to pay the rent and told on their asses! The lady @ the office called them and the security guard put a tow notice on their car. But do you think it was gone the next morning?! no! damn girls. WTF?

I dont mean to start trouble b/c really--i already had a car (ks) broken into and mine stolen, the last thing I need is those girls to mess w/ my car. So help me gawd i will unleash the hormones all over them! But seriously--if there's empty spots in front of your house--move your fucking car! good gawd.

That was my yesterday. I think I'm done ranting now. it's an update. i vow to my lovelies that i will post every day this week (im cheatin b/c I only have tomorrow to go) but will promise to update more too!!

go phillies!!!