They say in the ways of the Earth and life that things happen in 3's. First KS lost his job, then he got hauled off by the police...now what. what on Earth could be number 3?
could I die on the labor and delivery table, will something be wrong with the baby? Seriously what else?
I had the most horrible day yesterday. I am very ashamed, saddened, and completely dissapointed in my husband. i won't say what happened b/c its' private and i'm completely emberassed and feel that its in some way (I feel we women do this) my fault. I know its not, obviously, but I'm leaving it alone and just going to tell you all---you all are my moral support in life--that yesterday was completely horrible. it was filled with tears and frustrations.
I couldn't hardly sleep or eat.
I've said my prayers, and even after 3 years, I went back to church this morning. I need some faith, I need hope, I need direction, I need something to keep me going.
Everyone keeps saying how I need to be happy and focused on the baby. I appologised to baby and prayed for forgiveness in saying that I wish I weren't pregnant b/c things would be a lot easier to deal with. BUT they say the good lord won't give you mor than you can handle right? so I can get through this.
but I'm completely sad. I can't say I haven't thought bad things. they have crossed my mind. but thats it. i can't go there. I'm past that. I'm more grown up.
But hopefully well---anyhoo...things will work out. I might post before I get induced on Tuesday..I might not. if I don't, please say a prayer for me.
M
6 comments:
Oh sweetie!! I'm so...so...soo....sorry to hear this. But please. No matter what, do NOT put the burden on your shoulders. K is a grown man and makes his own decisions. Whatever he did, he made the choice to do it. NOT YOU!!!
I'm here for you if you need to talk.
xxoxoxoxooxo
kitty
Oh, it's just terrible you're having to deal with this when you should be concentrating on the most exciting thing ever - having your baby. I will keep you in my prayers, and I hope everything turns out way way way beyond okay. Don't feel bad for your husband - his behavior is his fault, not yours. It doesn't matter what you did - he always has the choice to act appropriately or not. Please take care of yourself and your baby, and let us know how you're doing as soon as you can. Good luck and God bless!
it's not ofetn i have the chance to visit here anymore and i wish ---especially after reading this-- that i could be around here more. i'm SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! I KNOW that being 9 mos pregnant the LAST THING YOU NEED is any extra stess. i am thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. you know you can email me any time and i hope your baby brings you tons and tons of joy to help get you through this!!!
Okay lady... are you out of the hospital yet??
Where's the baby??
How are you??
I'm dying here!
Hope you and yours are doing well!!
xoxoxoxoxox
Hey mamma. The only thing I can say is keep your head up high and your heart open
Hey mamma. The only thing I can say is keep your head up high and your heart open
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