You like that title? What is that, whitesnake? lol. sooo 80's.
Onto the reason I always come here. To bitch about something. Today's topic will be my mother. She really pissed me off last night. But, when is a visit with my mom without a fight or something dramatic happening?
First, what I thought was totally odd--she came in, and the ENTIRE night (she was at my house for 3 hours) she never once asked, or tried to hold Collin. Weird. Why would a grandmother not want to hold her grandchild? Well, her agenda was cooking dinner, and OK, i can see that..but really? really?
Then, everything was fine until the end of the night when she blurted out a problem I had in the past to our roommate. He didn't know about that, and it certainly didn't need to be brought to his attention. So I got pissed. I told my mom "THANKS" and went upstairs and well, cried with myself in the shower. It's an everyday thing. It is in the past, but hey, the voice still haunts me and I struggle with it all the time.
I'll give you a multiple choice as to what my mom did:
a) Come and apologise for saying what she did
b) turn it around on me and ask me for an apology
c) Act as if nothing was wrong and go eat the dinner she cooked.
The answer is b. yep, somehow she made it about her and I needed to apologise to her! I'm so beyond frustrated with her! she didn't know why I went crying, she didn't know why I ran upstairs. Helloo---you just outed me about something personal to someone who didn't need to know---about a problem from years ago! good god!
the woman has issues! she called me here @ work (after she told me she didn't have time for arguing and that "If I could do half a good of a job raising my son as she did with my sister and I, then, well...good luck" Can you believe that?! She called after that. ugh...then said that she just wanted me to be happy.
hello---there was nothing about NOT being happy
and that she didn't want to lose me
hello---and you think acting like this is going to help things?
Jezus H! I don't understand why i can't just have a mom who loves and supports me. Granted, all moms have things to put into their kids lives. That's their job, and it never ends. I know that. But, do you think that i could get some normalcy?! And then she says I wasn't greatful for all that she does for us?! WTF! I cried (not acting, serioulsy cried!) when she brought over bags and loads of stuff when i was on maternity leave and KS had lost his job. I gave her a thank you card with pictures of Collin to show my appreciation---I even thanked her last night too for making dinner!! But yet the (text) message I got today said how ungreatful I am, and how much I don't appreciate all she does for me.
It's enough to make me want to bash my head in a wall, or poke my eyes out in frustration!
4 comments:
Awww, sweetie! I'm so sorry. Really, I can totally understand your situation. I love my mom, I really do, but she is the Goddess of turning things around and making them MY fault, when they were really hers to start with. And then the whole, "I just want you to be happy" thing? Yeah, I know how that goes too.
Sometimes I think she really just DOES NOT understand that, hey, it was HER fault. And that she can be a bitch sometimes. Although lately I've been standing up for myself and telling her exactly WHY she made me angry, why her actions were wrong. Now I think she's finally starting to listen to me. So, yeah. I know what you're going through. I'm really sorry - I know it can suck complete ass, and it's your mom, so it's not as if you can easily kick her out of your life (well, some people can do that. I can't - I'd feel guilty.) Chin up, sweetie. Don't let things get you down - not that I can really give you too much advice on how to do that (I'm still trying to figure it out), but try to be happy. Pick up your baby and smell his baby breath - that's gotta be a picker upper any day. :) Take care!
Ok she is officially fired. Pack her desk and I am walking her out. She has lost her title as grandma, and I am not even talking about the part where you have to say sorry.
Darlin... sometimes you really have to take a good hard look and decide whether or not a person enriches your life or poisons it.
It took me 28 long, hard years to realize that my life was NEVER better after any interaction with my mother. So I finally cut her out of my life completely and I have been happier ever since.
Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean that they are good for you.
Think about yourself, K and C and decide what's best for YOUR little family.
Hugs and love!
xoxoox
kitty
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Pen Drive, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://pen-drive-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.
Post a Comment